PDA Irish Style

How family can help PDA is complex, challenging and little known. It is very hard to explain to anyone that yes, your boy went to school yesterday, but today it is impossible. That he really wants to come to visit you, but can't. That when he threw a chair, and cursed at you it wasn't personal. That he is staying up til 3am at the moment, and allowing that does not mean his parents are useless. From the outside it can look like a child is ruling the roost, the parent is weak, and it is ridiculous. From the outside family can feel like something must be said, and they are going to be the ones to say it because they care. Or in a less caring way, family can revert to childhood roles, or competitive positions, and somehow you were always difficult, and always different and this is just an extension of that. For the parent who is at an early stage of struggling with PDA, their stress levels are high. They are struggling to figure out what is going on

Why I'm not responsible for the pressure teachers are under in Ireland. As a parent of a child with pathological demand avoidance, an autism spectrum condition, I have had my fair share of dealings with schools in Ireland. On many occasions school staff have discussed how overstretched and under-resourced they are. I do sympathise. But I'm not responsible. I have taught in the past in classrooms. I don't do it anymore. I don't envy them their jobs. In trying to advocate for my son, and find solutions for him, I have had to consider my role carefully. It is my role to ask for everything he needs, to argue the case for everything he needs, to help find solutions to problems he faces. It is not my role to worry about the teachers. If I modify my requests to incorporate what is not available, adjust my questions to acknowledge the stress they are under, reduce my demands to reflect their under-resourcing, then it looks as if the system works j

When school does damage. 'School refusal = work refusal = housebound.' Dr. Michael Fitzgerald psychiatrist. 'We would not recommend homeschool for individuals with social and emotional difficulties.' Phil Christie consultant child psychologist. Professional recommendations assume that there are supports in place, and if we all work together a child will be enabled to access school. It might be difficult. It might be part-time. It might be for social interaction only. It might be successful at times and less successful at other times. But it will be worth pursuing. In my experience in Ireland, it has not been worth pursuing. It has been exhausting, distressing, and ultimately damaging for both my son and me. What is not acknowledged is that, in Ireland, when my child with PDA, an autism spectrum condition, refused school and I found myself in the hallway in the morning with a child in meltdown, there was no service to support us. The Nationa