PDA Irish Style

Labels as Signposts Conversation with my son age 14 Me:  Autism means different brain wiring.  Seeing things differently can mean challenges in particular areas. Son:  Saying I have asd is no use.  It doesn't give any information.  It doesn't say how smart I am. Me:  You're right.  So we could say you're very smart and you have some challenges. Son: I'm smart, and I have anxiety. Me:  You're smart and you have anxiety and demand avoidance. Son:  Ah what's the demand avoidance mean really? Me:  Well you know the way if I ask you to do something it actually makes it harder for you to do it. Son:  Yea, I'm smart and I have anxiety and I don't conform. Me:  Ok, that's clear. Son:  Now you're talking sense.

Pathological Demand Avoidance.  Avoidance is the default. My son avoids the everyday by: ignoring me (He says sometimes he tunes me out, and sometimes if he's concentrating on something else he doesn't hear) talking about his game (I'll talk about socks, he'll talk about game weapons, back and forth, back and forth) saying 'wait', 'in a minute', 'I can't', 'I'm too tired', 'go away, go away, go away' pretending to be a rock, so he can't move, or a soldier arguing about why he doesn't need to, shouldn't bother negotiating if he gets something he'll do it, or promising if he just does something else first, but even if he gets his way, he never does the original thing making loud vocal noises, squeaking, walking away, going to another room, going to his bed, hiding going as if to do it, but ending up somewhere else doing someth