When school does damage.


'School refusal = work refusal = housebound.' Dr. Michael Fitzgerald psychiatrist.
'We would not recommend homeschool for individuals with social and emotional difficulties.' Phil Christie consultant child psychologist.

Professional recommendations assume that there are supports in place, and if we all work together a child will be enabled to access school. It might be difficult. It might be part-time. It might be for social interaction only. It might be successful at times and less successful at other times. But it will be worth pursuing.

In my experience in Ireland, it has not been worth pursuing. It has been exhausting, distressing, and ultimately damaging for both my son and me.

What is not acknowledged is that, in Ireland, when my child with PDA, an autism spectrum condition, refused school and I found myself in the hallway in the morning with a child in meltdown, there was no service to support us. The National Education Psychology Service said that they are school based, and do not support a child who is not attending. The HSE psychology service said that they have no role in education. The Special Education Needs Officer said that her role was to identify school placements and he had one. The Education Welfare Officer said he had no role as this was not truancy. CAHMS said they do not take on children with an autism spectrum condition.

The Department of Education said apply for home tuition, but it will be granted for a few months as the aim is always a return to school. And you must find the tutor yourself. Then, when I'd applied 6 times in 2 years, and gone through several tutors, who had no link to his school, I knew it wouldn't work.
The tutor must be a registered teacher, not an asc expert. In my experience available registered teachers are either new graduates looking for work, or retired teachers looking for extra income. They are not required to have any asc expertise.

Now there is iscoil, which is an online last resort, but requires the child to commit to learning, logging on to their site regularly. When I ask is there support to help him engage, or asc expertise advising to support his anxiety in the background the answer is no.

My son and I spent the last 3 years of primary school trying to get him to school. He wanted to go. I wanted him to go. We made it to the carpark of an Aspergers placement. No further. The teacher said helping him get in was 'beyond the remit of the school'.

The HSE paid for Phil Christie to come from England to assess him. Phil Christie devised a plan using a keyworker approach.  A teacher at his old school agreed to act as keyworker.  It was June.  In September with Phil Christie returned to England, she told me she couldn't possibly be his keyworker. She did help support him once he got to school using PDA strategies. We had several months of success. Then school relaxed. In the New Year the transition process into the school changed. He refused to go. We found ourselves at home again, on our own. No phone calls, no urgent meetings, no system in place to respond, no one responsible. Just home on our own. Again.

I moved my advocacy efforts to secondary school, meeting and documenting what he would need. It looked promising, as I signed the necessary forms for the school to receive funding and resourcing for him. But behind the scenes the contact teacher did not feel the need to set up the professionals meeting as asked. She told HSE staff that she would give the report to other teachers, but she couldn't make them read it. The primary school met the secondary and told me they seemed surprised by his level of need. The primary felt they had now handed over. It was May and there was no individualised transition plan. I started to lose hope. But I prepared all the books into colour coded folders, and got the uniform, and arranged the bus, and spent the Summer talking positively about the new school.

There was nothing in place in September. I had to call my own emergency meeting with the Principal. The Vice Principal came instead. He agreed again to some of the things I had understood were to be in place.

My son tried so hard. He got himself up, and dressed and ready (a huge challenge for a PDA child). He froze heading to the bus. It was too much. I drove him. We found ourselves outside the school watching all the other children walking in. This was the third school where we have sat in the carpark with no support in place to help us get from the car to the school. My son's anxiety rose and rose and headed towards meltdown. It was too much. I drove him home.

As I write this I feel the emotion of that day, and the other days before it. The trauma of endless trying and failing. The extreme distress resulting in shutdown for him. The emotional exhaustion for me.

We tried again. I changed bus routes. He managed the getting up and getting out for the no uniform 2nd day. I drove him to the new bus where he knew some of the children. He got on it.

The school had him for that day. From 8.30am til 4pm. They did games and p.e. in an informal fun day. I know they showed him his locker. They didn't shorten the day to prevent exhaustion, or make a transition plan for the next morning. Well, I don't think they did. They did not communicate with me. He did have fun. But he was never able to go to the school again. We tried. They didn't. There was no contact from the school. No phone calls, no urgent meetings, no system in place to respond, no one responsible. I did get an automated text daily telling me he was absent. Apparently his name was called out on the role everyday as absent to his class of local peers.

The following June the EWO told me there was nothing else on offer. How about trying home tuition again?

I have applied to home school. I have decided that too much time has been spent on trying and failing to get to school, and our time and energy would be better spent on finding ways to help him learn for himself.

He is doing well, and I gain in confidence with my decision, wishing I had done it earlier.

A psychologist asks: but isn't there a danger that he will retreat into his room?
Yes, there is. And I worry about that everyday. But what would you have me do? Continuing to force an endlessly damaging school experience would definitely cause him to shutdown. It does not feel like I have a choice.

Professional recommendations assume supports are in place. In Ireland in my experience, they are not.



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