Why I'm not responsible for the pressure teachers are under in Ireland.

As a parent of a child with pathological demand avoidance, an autism spectrum condition, I have had my fair share of dealings with schools in Ireland. On many occasions school staff have discussed how overstretched and under-resourced they are. I do sympathise. But I'm not responsible. I have taught in the past in classrooms. I don't do it anymore. I don't envy them their jobs.

In trying to advocate for my son, and find solutions for him, I have had to consider my role carefully.

It is my role to ask for everything he needs, to argue the case for everything he needs, to help find solutions to problems he faces.

It is not my role to worry about the teachers. If I modify my requests to incorporate what is not available, adjust my questions to acknowledge the stress they are under, reduce my demands to reflect their under-resourcing, then it looks as if the system works just fine.

If I pre-empt all the reasons they will give for why something is not an option, and adjust my requests, then no one will know that my son needs x, y, or z. No one will become aware of a need that has not arisen before. No one will consider an option that has not been considered before.

This does not mean confrontation. There is nothing to be gained from alienating the staff who educate my son. Remember all the power lies with the school. The school can always say no, and in my experience has no difficulty saying no. At least, when the school says no, my request is acknowledged, considered and the refusal is recorded. Then I move on to work with the school to find a solution that is viable. Or to accept that there is nothing available.

And I have finally accepted that the support needs for my son to succeed in school are not available within the current system. He needs a keyworker with asc expertise, who can link from school to home, build a relationship of trust with him, and facilitate his flexible incorporation into a mainstream environment. This is not unattainable, as such a system does exist in other countries. However it is simply not possible in Ireland within the current system. I recognise this, after several years of trying, so I have removed my son from that system and now home educate. It is my job to ensure that an option that works is the one selected for my child.

It is the teachers' role to fight for more resources, to argue with the authorities over underfunding, to demand what they need to do their jobs properly. I am not responsible for that.



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