Pathological Demand Avoidance.  Avoidance is the default.

My son avoids the everyday by:

  • ignoring me
(He says sometimes he tunes me out, and sometimes if he's concentrating on something else he doesn't hear)

  • talking about his game
(I'll talk about socks, he'll talk about game weapons, back and forth, back and forth)

  • saying 'wait', 'in a minute', 'I can't', 'I'm too tired', 'go away, go away, go away'

  • pretending to be a rock, so he can't move, or a soldier

  • arguing about why he doesn't need to, shouldn't bother

  • negotiating if he gets something he'll do it, or promising if he just does something else first, but even if he gets his way, he never does the original thing

  • making loud vocal noises, squeaking,

  • walking away, going to another room, going to his bed, hiding

  • going as if to do it, but ending up somewhere else doing something else

  • screaming

  • meltdown 
(has presented as violence aimed at me, because for him I am the cause of the problem. He has said "you deserve it for going on and on until I go crazy. If I say 'stop' you have to stop."  Now, I stop before we get to this stage)


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