I was that person


I used to listen to radio shows, and watch parents on t.v. talk about the extraordinary lengths they had to go to to access the most basic supports for their children in Ireland.
I used to think we couldn't have the whole story. It can't be that bad. We must be missing something.

I also used to sigh when I sat down on an airplane and saw there was a baby in front of me.
I used to look askance at children screaming in shopping centres and think what was wrong with their parents. Why couldn't their parents control them?
I used to be shocked when parents said their children slept in their bed.
I used to wonder why people had such problems with children and eating and everyday stuff.
If you had told me you couldn't get your child to school I would have thought 'how ridiculous'.

I used to think I knew better.

I was that person.

When you have no experience of a child with additional needs you have no understanding of that. I make no claims to have any understanding of fighter pilots. But somehow when it involves children, I felt entitled to make all sorts of assumptions about others, and all sorts of judgements about what I saw. We've all been children, I suppose, so our experience is our norm, and we assume those norms apply to all others.

They don't. If you haven't lived it you can't understand.  Be ready to listen and learn.

Now I am regularly shocked at how difficult it is to get any support for my son in Ireland, let alone appropriate support.  Shocked that reality is worse than I ever heard on any radio show.

I'm not that person anymore.




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